funny thing, fat

my reaction to kirstie alley and fat actress may indeed be delayed what with me having missed the debut episode and all, but as of this week, i have a word or two. in addition to having serious concerns about the long term medical ramifications of doing parody that hard, i can't help but wonder if the show - a festival of mockery - will only solidify her b-status in hollywood. sure, stars are turning up to do cameos and reception to the show has been warm. but can't u hear the sneered whisper snuck out of a big smiley mouth from one famous person to another in a standing ovation at the show's premier: "that poor woman is so fucked. funny for a minute, sad forever." pointing out that you're fat and that hollywood is a gigantic ass hole that only perpetuates unattainable stereotypes of female beauty does not get you gigs. roseanne notwithstanding, it hasn't worked for camryn manheim or margaret cho. and by the by, did it really work for roseanne? i mean, how long before we see her on the surreal life? but roseanne wasn't explicitly about her fat, she was about her class. so we somehow collectively let her get away with it. for awhile. but who will trust kirstie's motives? fat actress who can't get work creates her own project so that she can work, uses absurd body and shitty predicament to make statement? i dunno ... the sweat and plentiful tears of fat famous women who've undergone scathing scrutiny have, i regret to say, done nothing to advance fat acceptance - in the entertainment industry or anywhere else, for that fucking matter. carnie got gastric bypass and oprah's down to, like 140. thanks for the crusade.

it's not an automatic party among fat people when fat is on tv or in a movie. we don't bust into celebrations with champagne and streamers and cheetos and tubs of haagen-daas. even when they get it wrong - mostly always - is it still good? (don't even get me started on shallow hal). what about when something that isn't supposed to be about the fat becomes about the fat, like if i have to hear one more fucking time how courageous and phenomenal charlize theron was to get fat for monster, i'll off myself. did they give her an oscar out of sheer marvel for that? then there's bridget... chubby girl done good? or just another self-deprecating fattie regaling the world with her delightful hijinx. yes, hollywood, it really was amazing that renee went from fat to anorexic not once, but twice! remarkable commitment to the craft! i'm going to rip my own face off.

good luck, kirstie, with your show, future offers of serious roles, and attempt to change the world.

[too bad the show is styled by design graduates from the late 1300's. even wendy noticed the absence of taste - "maybe hollywood stylists never see fat people outside of renaissance fairs and think that we all dress like serving wenches and/or sit in ornate carved chairs?"]