face in the crowd

in the hectic day to day, you constantly brush against hundreds of people, known and unknown. you meet friends of friends, colleagues of friends, friends of colleagues. you encounter clerks and drivers and wait staff. you whirl from meetings to sidewalks to gatherings. the blurry masses exist almost as unnoticable scenery. but every so often, not often, someone comes into focus. someone new who you actually want to spend time with. know that feeling? that person doesn't just turn your head, but incites your attention. suddenly you have the inclination to spend time and energy previously unavailable for new friends or for new anything. the spark ignites a million things to talk about, laughter, insight, wit. because i'm seldom interested in squinting into the blur, it fascinates me when someone does sneak up on me like that. i like that i'm not so closed that it can't happen. but i think i don't want to like anyone new right now. i fear i don't know why. and i fear that i do.