10 liberal reasons

though i'm not a member, i figured i'd answer the catchy call of the great liberal party of canada and take a shot at the top 10 reasons its great to be a liberal. t'wasn't as mentally taxing an exercise as i'd initially expected. here goes:

10. i hold no strong opinions, and seldom even a mild one – i’m comfy in the mushy middle

9. i actually don't care to be politically active, and the only thing the liberals really fight for is more and more space on the political spectrum

8. we're hip since bono swooped in to our convention and said this - not as a manipulative tactic to advance the cause of third world debt relief but because he really truly thinks we're terrific (the ndp only attracts lameass local acts like this parachute clubber or the barenaked ladies)

7. it’s the quickest and easiest way i can find to get me appointed to the jobs that might fulfill my lifelong dream of being a career bureaucrat

6. party gatherings are great opportunities to suck up to people whose idea of political cred is relevant lineage and/or donor history

5. it’s a mainstream legitimized way to co-opt and use people of colour in ways that just might make me seem tolerant

4. delicious and accessible party fundraisers

3. it’s a safe haven for a right-winger who lacks the spine to come ‘out’ as a true Conservative

2. i’d rather be in a party that goes down in history thanks to scandal after scandal rather than in one that makes history by consolidating support or by generating unprecedented youth participation

and the top reason its great to be a liberal ...

1. the awesome party uniforms!