fell down

i took a spill yesterday. fuck those montreal structures with their famously beautiful but treacherous narrow stairways. i was about to descend a narrow flight of stairs which begin at, and curve immediately away from, steve's apartment door. what happened is anyone's guess. blame it on the fatigued blurry vision, faulty footing, or absence of mind. i just fucking fell. and no, i didn't hurtle down to the bottom, thank christ. i just went down and yelped owwwie. at one point i remember steve's hand was on my arm and he was asking holy shit are you ok? and every electric thing i feel in response to that question these days (and regarding him) almost came blue-streaking out. so i feigned fine and we moved on. yes, i'm fie-een dammit.

every so often today, there's an ache or a pain. these moments remind me that i fell, which in turn has inspired a bizarre montage of images of fell. of course, i paid the requisite hommage to that lady who endured a similar fate, couldn't get up, then delivered the universe an unyielding punchline. i thought of this oft-overlooked sarah jessica parker flick (who didn't make such a pact?). i contemplated these guys i knew in high school whose first band name was fall down go boom. i've been singing this excellent ditty in my mind. and i've even pictured this guy, who regaled us as a roper. with this kind of mental process, it's a wonder i even make it through a day.

my ache over not having made it today's big bush party is a whole other pain.