bye cruel world

tomorrow morning, i will fill my travel mug, gas up, and hit the 401 for the ever-safe city of toronto. i'll be picking up rebecca at pearson airport by noon, then we'll bum around the t-dot. our flight to cuba leaves at an ungodly hour on monday morning - the question is whether or not we will get any sleep before heading to the airport at like 4.45 fucking am.

of course i'm excited about the whole thing. duh. but anxiety washes over me before i leave for any extended period of time. i run around in a fussy panic, cursing to-do lists and those inevitable loose ends. in the meantime, there are other waves in which to bob, like the one that knocks me over just before a departure to a place with other languages and currencies and climates. it's not fear, more like exhileration and anticipation. i adore travelling to where i've never been: what's more intoxicating than adventure? and cuba has been beckoning me a long time.

and so off i go to put on shades and sunscreen, to put off the ongoing ambiguity about my life, to put out a request to the universe that she please, for fucksakes, share her wisdom. whether she sends word through the havana moon or at the bottom of a glass of mojito, my heart and mind sure need it.

maybe we'll run into fidel at the beach?