i've fallen and i can't get up

i have been in what can only be described as a coma since saturday night. i have gotten pretty much no work done. i have missed meetings and deadlines and the news. but other than an itchy throat, i'm not really sick. i just can't stop sleeping. at first i thought i was fighting off a bug or something. then when the sleep became a big heavy beast splayed atop me, i started to fear something more sinister like mono, cfs or plague. in my hypochondriac haze, i asked a friend today what she thought would be an appropriate duration for incessant slumber. "what if you're just tired?" naw, too easy, i said. surely i must be dying. but being plain old tired might explain my wild fantasies about calling everyone i work with and declaring myself unavailable for three days. my ass hole brother might be in cancun right now, but vacation for someone like me would be just be to go scandalously unplugged.