buzz, of sorts

i'm yawning incessantly and totally head-fuzzy, but i can't stop being awake what with all the buzzing thoughts swarming me like intent wasps -- to wave a hand at them would be dangerous, and blowing cigarette smoke all over them ain't working. the campaign has moved right the fuck in and at this point has pulled up a big comfy chair smack dab in the middle of my head space. can't stop thinking about the tasks undone, calls unmade, the flyer blitz intended for this weekend, the soggy lawn signs, the perpetual search for free photocopies, the dearth of reliable volunteers, the budget not yet raised.

yesterday it hit me... what if he doesn't win? i mean, it really just struck me. what if he loses? i haven't been glib, like most of the team. i'm the one pushing for lower expectations and saying don't get your hopes up and c'mon guys, we can't assume any victories here. but i've only been doing that because somebody has to. because i gotta keep it real. because if we were all skipping around all tra-la-la and shit, this campaign would be totally fucked. even though the buzz around town is that our guy is a front runner. but now i'm gasping for someone to grip my shoulders, look me straight in the eye and say you've got this one in the bag. someone not from the campaign team of not-so-experienced electioneers, someone not likely to assume that because we all think he's a pretty swell guy, votes will magically get cast.

speaking of buzzing, my head was last night. maybe my life really is just intended to serve as a warning to others - this time about the 4 to 5 hour delayed effects of cookies made of oatmeal, coconut, butterscotch chips, and um, pot. it wasn't until well after the chris rock dvd and making my way home that my brain, mouth and skin all started pulsating and gaining weight. i was so messed up for a wee while in the wee hours that all i could do was flip channels with my head cocked to one side and my lips puffed out like a fish's. i shit you not.

surely unrelated is the fact that my counsellor kicked the (emotional) crap out of me yesterday. as did my mother. and i'm not quite right since the recent departure of a certain important person in my life for an undetermined length of time. also, i'm really really pissed off about the new tv commercial for lakota herbal medicine that has "everyday" people dancing around their jobs wearing traditional native headdress. i just can't fucking get over it.