benedict bono

everyone hearts bono these days. in addition to the motley crew of celebs clammoring onto his bandwagon for debt relief, i've recently come to understand the sheer insanity of the fan networks, both his and u2's. who knew?

we've got 10 months in which to kick some serious political ass with the big campaign. there's no fucking shortage of things to do - from outreach to mobilization to political action to mass marketing - it's seriously huge. and i'm not saying it can't be done. but i had not anticipated the shocking suckage of time and energy that the u2 tour would become for me. there are three stops in canada during the 2005 tour, and each of them is going to be pivotal for us. given that everyone and their dog thinks bono is an obvious supporter of their pet cause, the vancouver shows next week are likely to become a fucking circus, which means our 'legit' volunteer strategy has to be managed well. i am having to assure and reassure a guy from bono's org and a gal from tour management that everything's kosher and under control. meanwhile, there is a frenzy of ideas and keeners and stunts that seem to be percolating on the west coast. there's even some guy who's been in touch with bono's assistant's assistant to invite bono to attend a meeting where the amazing jean swanson will be speaking. not that i'm in the business of dream killing, but come on buddy.

anyways, we will mostly have nothing to do with most of the craziness, and everything will go smoothly. but still, i'm really itchy to have more time to do all the other fucking work, and wish the mythological figure of bono didn't require (or warrant) so much focus from us.

yes, of course he's cool. he slums it in the poorest neighbourhoods of the world, then turns around and rubs elbows with the economic elite. his calls get answered by untouchable politicians, and when he talks, people seem to really pay attention. so that's fucking great. i'm the last person to poo-poo the value of a famous face attached to a cause or issue.

but it's as if while i was in one of my depressive comas, the global left somehow collectively elected bono our very own pope. he's like the anti or counter-pope - the one doing what the 'real' one should actually be doing - zipping around the planet and knocking heads about the re-distribution of wealth and the crime of poverty. bono has become larger than life and is genuinely trying to make poverty issues achieve the same. his crusade is indeed biblical. but i guess what i struggle with is its impact.

there comes a point when you become so papal in a role that the very people you desire to sway are falling over themselves to be seen with you. and then what? you demonstrate sound analysis and great integrity, but are so single-focussed that you lack nuanced political instinct. so inevitably, you wind up dragged into political mire you just can't comprehend. bono, i think you know a lot, and i think you get that there's shit you don't get. but you're so over the top that you have to remain way the fuck out there. which is why we common folk anti-poverty activists end up having to send word to your 'people' - again - for you to please stop giving big smoochie kisses to the likes of paul martin. or at least stop doing it inside of our media markets. we're trying to make other points here, sir.

but i digress.

how dare i be so irreverent about the papacy in these historic days. the new pope - not quite the raging hippie we might have hoped for - is officially installed, what with the white smoke and all. a week to remember. he and his questionable political allies gots lots o' work to do, and we best all brace ourselves for some eye-stabbing wisdom from the big pulpit. i just hope our fearless leader, bono, has the kahunas to play some real hard ball. god help us.


Blogger accidental altruist said...

i can get behind that. but what name would he choose? he could go back to his real name and be Pope Paul the Seventh but that's a big 'ole yawn fest.

only thing that'll get me back to church on a regular basis would be a Pope Slartibartfast

'course, Pope Beldar Conehead has already been nominated on the merits of form fitting headgear...

Oooo Oooo! no wait! Oprah! Pope Op!

11:15 a.m.  

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