whack to the head

in what can only be characterized as an ironic twist, a (finally!) reasonably productive week suffered a setback thanks to an injury that appears to have untapped a fresh geyser of disdain [me to my psychiatrist in december: “i’m not moody, i’m in a bad mood!”] yesterday – “family day”, no less – i spent some time crumpled up crying on the bathroom floor after smacking my forehead on the corner of a cupboard door (i've suffered a pulsing headache ever since), not just cuz it hurt like a mofo but cuz of what the whack let leak out, if you know what i mean. now a wee bump has taken up residence under a patch of reddened skin, there. the dark cloud that moved overhead in november persists, borne of the unforeseen whopping amount i discovered, belatedly, that i owe to revenue quebec. confirmed contracts for 2008 are slow in lining up – it’s the typical top-of-year problem of stuff percolating but no soothing brew yet. the only sure offer is to run a campaign in a potential federal election i’m hardly excited about for a party that hardly excites me, of late (although the offer itself is an appreciated step towards reconciliation). heard about three separate incidents of racism experienced in the past week by my pained dad which go rather nicely with the other discrimination already scattered across my worktop on account of this project i’ve been doing for a year. heartwarming. the oscars are coming up and i seem to be lacking my usual pop culture pump over it, maybe a hangover from the writers’ strike or just another few scored points for the mighty malaise that seems to be engaging me in american gladiator level battle. hmm… what else. oh, TODAY FIDEL RESIGNED. and the embittered, relentless snow just keeps on falling, leaving me seriously luke warm on the idea of venturing out to a friend’s birthday wine and cheese later. so much for aiming higher on that whole normal-levels-of-human-contact thing. social lives are overrated, i still think. plus navigating around the mountainous snow banks and perilous slushy bits out there is fucking ridiculous. i’ve always been fairly pro-winter, but in that perpetual quest to understand and embrace LIMITS, i’m fairly certain mine have been well reached insofar as my tolerance for deep-freeze temperatures and unwieldy snow conditions are concerned. my winter patience has a best before date, which may well be today.

despite all of the aforementioned shyte, to-do lists have the upper hand: cvs and websites are getting updated, laundry and floors and tubs are getting cleaned, sleep patterns are being aggressively challenged, administrivia tended to, and deals being negotiated so as to postpone the breaking of my kneecaps. most importantly, maybe, plans are being laid.

suck it, malaise.


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