new year's druthers

new year's resolutions have always struck me as yet another sure-fire path to disappointment. and i've always harboured a bit of hatred for people who make and actually keep resolutions, if only because they mock my belief in the dubiousness of willpower. but january has a tendency to get people thinking about all sorts of shit pertaining to then and now, yesterday and tomorrow. and i'm not immune to that sort of thing.

so i've been contemplating druthers, wishes, and wants (the difference between which has always eluded me). thankfully, i possess a fairly decent grasp of the difference between fantasy and reality. but some days i'm a woman of action and others, a woman of apathy, so it's really too early to tell what of these might end up in The Plan. here we go.

i wish that in wintertime, the main mode of urban transportation was mildly motorized toboggans, that ice was sparkly but not deadly, and that municipal trucks didn't leave that annoying, tantrum-invoking band of piled snow across the bottom of our driveways when they clear roads at night.

if i had my druthers, when required to, i would make the transition seamlessly between MY preferred schedule and society’s standard hours without flinching or pharmaceutical intervention.

i wish my computer automatically increased speed and power at regular intervals and mutated to new versions of software bling all on its own.

if i had my druthers, my body would never hurt, true mind/body/work/life balance would be an attainable concept, and every food would be zero points.

i wish utterly unjustifiable expenditures like tattoos and plasma tvs and lattés were barterable.

i wish i could afford to divide my time evenly between this house, a funky loft in the heart of manhattan, and the tuscan villa in that diane lane movie.

i want my creative side to get taken out on a lot more dates instead of being kept on the DL like some sort of neglected booty call.

i wish i was higher paid, steadily contracted, and more valued, professionally.

if i had my druthers, people i might ever crave spending time with would live within a 30 mile radius but still be kinda distant and cute puppies or kittens (even the occasional baby) would hang out with me whenever i damn well feel like it but not on a permanent basis that would require me to be responsible for anything major like hygiene or a college fund.

i wish people would say what they mean and mean what they say, not make commitments they can’t keep, and have the balls in relationships to name it when they err, waver or desire to change the terms.


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