small talk

actual notes passed back and forth between me and others during union, feminist, or otherwise high level political meetings, as evidence of the forcible intellect we bring to the table:

if i was high right now, would this presentation be more or less interesting? / less UNinteresting.

let's find a yarn store after this and pick out some yarn for your legwarmers - i will NOT be able to get through the next two days without knitting. / good idea, and those needles will poke my eyes out rather nicely in a pinch.

worst lyric ever? / i wanna lick you raw like sushi.

sweet lord almighty, we need to help people learn how to self-censor. / ya, and how to gauge a room, discover intonation, and use a comb.

that woman is very judgy - you're not allowed to shoot me any looks for at least 10 minutes so as to avoid me laughing so hard i spew this putrid babyfood-like soup all over her suit.

whaaaaat?! a banana is NOT 8 ounces! / yu-hunh, sho nuff.

it downright chokes me that we have to endure this bullshit AND have to drink coffee that tastes like ass, as if one of the two isn't torture enough. / it's free and it's a stimulant, so drink up and look perky, goddammit.

whose wardrobe would you like to steal? / queen latifah's, pre-dr. bernstein phase.

for the love of god, must you be all big loopy lettering and flashing neon with these notes? / oh shut up and stop avoiding the question - what's your fave sexual position already?

do you think older women have given up on us? / no, but as a 'constituency', we sure as fuck confound them.

stop being a masochist. / i like being a masochist. / i love you.

when i was on the board, none of those women had ever seen 'friends'. / hmm... no wonder we feel misunderstood.

least fave parliamentarian? / elsie wayne - omigod those sweaters!

i once spent a night on a wiccan lesbian vegetarian feminist separatist farm - i wanted to die. / fascinating. i'd kill a man in cold blood right now for a lychee martini.