easter shmeaster

warming weather has revealed the annual shame that is my yard. whereas normally i would put off the clean-up until near the fall, the house being on the market requires a more urgent approach to exterior maintenance. am still wondering how i missed getting the gene that makes one actually give a shit about the state of one's lawn.

i've been responding to "how are you" with "fine", but embarrassingly, the long weekend has had almost a valentine's effect on me ... another occasion when other people scurry around to be With Loved Ones or, at least, someplace else. even with so many tasks to occupy and distract, there's still that calendar-forced reminder of what you lack. which is pretty much a constant low-grade underyling irritant for me, so it wasn't the main attraction of the weekend. i could say i did not slip into periodic catatonic states contemplating the ongoing mess of a private life that i can't seem to yank out of the quick sand. i could say that at no time did i return to fantasizing about a great escape (like, if i'm selling the house, why don't i just grab the opening and run away? i could be like the littlest hobo or that scott bakula character, nomadically roaming from one town to the next, as mysterious myself as the problems i attempt to solve along the way).

as for how the fuck to redesign my approach to time management in order to accommodate this new free-form work life, i went in search of the button the other day and came home with a couple of big dry erase wall calendars and a 3-in-1. these purchases, along with a pending consultation with a life coach, might be just what i need to really soar, to unleash my full potential, to truly achieve my dreams. ha! all this time spent on the therapist's couch, and i didn't realize it was that easy.

this morning, i heard from a former dance teacher and mentor, an amazing woman who was been a major influence on my life - her call was eerily well-timed. now i'm blasting charlie parker and chris botti, working on the media relations plan for the launch of this ywca report, and seriously trying to re-surface. the cruddy lawn can wait. priorities.


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