strung out

there's a feeling one gets when one knows one is being strung along. it's a kind of heaviness, due mostly to all the humiliation one carries. even when it's unintentional on the part of the stringer, the niggly feeling is ever-present for the stringee. the worst is when one is aware of the stringing and Chooses (take that, dr. phil!) to remain strung all the same. the longer this nonsense carries on, the worse one actually feels. it is possible, even, to find oneself in fact lying a wee bit, to self and planet. truths become blurred, what with all the disingenuousness floating about. often, stringer and stringee become so tangled in the dysfunction that they actually convince themselves the fuckery is healthy.

one is hard-pressed to find a situation more demoralizing on the spirit than the feeling of being mislead, exploited. let us be clear and not confuse this with being taken for granted, different in that it lacks malice. stringing is a sober thing. it is selfish. and pity not the one who over time winds up covered in said silly string, not unwittingly. for the self-pity is more than ample on its own.

oh, sorry, did you think i was talking about a boy? no stupid. this is between me and my realtor. so there.

and also, the stupid election has begun and obviously i have a few things to say about that. but not now.