barry and the big dipper

from the true confessions category of potentially disturbing things to reveal to this abyss of anonymous gawkers, however few there may be:

i sometimes feel profound stirrings of love for the automatic pool cleaner whom i call barry. he is diligent and effective, incredibly dedicated, a real go-getter. i just get him set up and he somehow manoeuvers around the bottom and sides of the pool, sucking up dirt and debris. he fucking amazes me. and i have come to love him, perhaps in an inappropriate way. i have only mentioned this to a few people. they generally agree that barry is a phenomenon worthy of some marvel, though none of them quite understand the tingle i feel for him.

barry is right now busily preparing for what could be my last day in that pool. ever (at least if i successfully sell the house this winter). it's supposed to be 29 cozy degrees tomorrow, and i'm shutting down all operations to take advantage of it. got a stack of magazines, a couple of new-agey books, and a bottle of the entirely non-sunscreen that is my "dark tanning oil". can't wait. who knows what my next address will be, but the odds of it having an in-ground pool and a perimeter of fifteen foot cedars are slim to none.

speaking of shielding shrubs, there are lots of things i do in my backyard that are little known secrets (not just gawking at barry). not that it's a seedy sticky triple x extravaganza back there or anything - though there IS a clothing optional policy. but there are some ssb that are especially enjoyable given the peace and privacy my backyard provides.

summer nights out there are fucking great. i just spent an hour lounging with my face pressed into the dark sky. when it's clear, i have the most vivid and reliable view of the big dipper. if the neighbourhood is still enough for me to really tune out, i fantasize about that big dipper scooping me up, carrying me through the magical starscape, and depositing me next to the far-away person i happen to miss the most at that moment. or straight into the arms of ll cool j. yes, i think my secluded backyard would be the perfect launching pad for a trans-galactic connection. hopefully i can dial one up before moving day.


Anonymous Bonnie Laing said...

Okay, now you've bonded with a mechanical pool cleaner, I think it is time you re-entered the real world and connected with real people and sucked back real martinis.

When are you available? I mean, other than all the time? Enquiring minds want to know.

12:07 p.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home