23.8.05

retraction

upon further reflection, the guy who loaned me the dvd box set of sports night is not that great. i guess at the time i was all caught up in a lot of sorkin-ness and maybe also got carried away by the cuteness of robert guillaume who had just survived a stroke at the time of the show. i mean, the dvd-loaner guy is pretty cool, but let's just say he's not as great as claude, who happens to be on his way over so we can watch the airing of the last episode ever of six feet under and who is no kidding one of the most amazing people i have had the honour of getting to know. after nearly 3 years of letting each other into deep and creepy inside places, the fact that he lets me hang out with him at all is still kind of a marvel. also a stunner is the fact that he never lets me get away with anything, despite my letting him get away with so fucking much. nevertheless, it's pretty great to do our crappy-happy thing together. someone once said that a true friend is someone who holds a mirror up so we see ourselves more clearly. it occurs to me that i needn't worry for lack of such mirrors, splendid and cracked though they may be. claude has a thing for mirrors. ok, maybe i hate him.

i spent quite a bit of time gazing at aging ceiling tiles in a waiting room today and got to thinking about that leonard cohen lyric, "everything has a crack in it, that's how the light gets in." i pondered my own precious cracks and how i suppose they are essential openings for illumination into my life. but i was also thinking, but for those gapes and gaps, what light would wind up trapped on the inside.

4 Comments:

Blogger notesfromaslightlylargercontinent said...

I miss our chats! Hope the show was fantastic.

3:13 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

c says-
pam is fabulous,
now fantastic and
fu..... fun.

4:19 p.m.  
Blogger pamused said...

puh-leez. hard enough to hear words that don't mean anything from total strangers. but from u too??

4:27 p.m.  
Anonymous Elaine said...

i'm pamused.

4:17 p.m.  

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