songs i've woken up humming this week

today - baker street, gerry rafferty
yesterday - these are the days, 10000 maniacs
friday - my number, tegan and sarah
thursday - my love, justin timberlake
wednesday - caring is creepy, the shins
tuesday - who knew, pink
monday - the promise, tracy chapman

songs i've woken up humming this week

today - karma police, radiohead
yesterday - wave your hands goodbye, the peptides
friday - you got me, the roots/erykah badu
thursday - in my mind, heather headley
wednesday - all the things i wasn't, grapes of wrath
tuesday - politcal, spirit of the west
monday - hold me now, polyphonic spree
sunday - someone saved my life tonight, elton john

61 of 365x35: mr. strachan

oh sure, you led us deftly through the required academic rigors of 7th and 8th grade, but it's your dumb jokes, approachability, moustache, joe jackson passion, and tales of nicorette that linger better.

[i am doing x365]

60 of 365x35: mrs. templeton

when two of us bravely stole halloween candy from your desk during a recess in, an 8th grader caught us and threatened to tattle. so we cowardly turned ourselves in. you barely gave a shit.

[i am doing x365]

59 of 365x35: mrs. niklau

you hated that we cut behind your house everyday, but when the snow melted that spring to reveal a blanket of my secret (oops) butts on your side of the fence, the deal was sealed.

[i am doing x365]

58 of 365x35: mr. obrocki

an oft-overlooked character in the story of my childhood, your name can conjure wafts of aromas of polish cuisine, random squaks of a grumpy old neighbour who liked neither kids nor hygiene, but no face.

[i am doing x365]

57 of 365x35: woman next to me on the plane

that you resembled the mother in 'muriel's wedding' charmed me little as my throat and nostrils swelled from the perfume in which you obviously showered, as if we cranky, stifled traveling folk wouldn't be choked.

[i am doing x365]

56 of 365x35: gina

your family oozed a kind of cool that showed me the distinction between hipster and the real deal. i think i thought i could get in on it by osmosis, by sopping up the mellow.

[i am doing x365]

55 of 365x35: joe

since you lived around the corner, it was easy to slip over to your studio where you’d let me watch you sculpt. you weren’t famous to me, just gina’s dad who seemed obsessed by cows.

[i am doing x365]

54 of 365x35: jon

i was sprawled serenely in the middle of your vast st-urbain loft when you sheepishly approached to say no, you in fact didn’t feel like sharing your weekend with me. i’ve not seen you since.

[i am doing x365]

songs i’ve woken up humming this past week...

... the seeming randomness and surprising clarity of which prompted me to deem this a phenomenon worth tracking:

today – brown girl in the ring, bony-m
yesterday – somewhere only we know, keane
thursday – beds are burning, midnight oil
wednesday – radio gaga, queen
tuesday – cool night, paul davis
monday – tomorrow wendy, concrete blonde
sunday – love me still, chaka khan

53 of 365x35: john

you got in over your head when you decided i was a story, hounding me like a dog with a bone. it was part personal, but it was more my influence – not me – you loathed.

[i am doing x365]

52 of 365x35: shaun

no one could chair meetings like you could, keeping the elected students – like those rules – in slick order. we had to overlook hair and wardrobe concerns on account of that reliable, bylaw-loving, wry, strategic mind.

[i am doing x365]

51 of 365x35: dylan

though often overshadowed by your aggression and your maniacal ego, we all recognized the power of your principles and intellect. when you hurled those keys at my face, you showed us your dangerous volatility, too.

[i am doing x365]

50 of 365x35: paula

we often slumped, bored or overlooked, at the back of dance class. years later, after one of your parties, we were on all fours dabbing white-out on your parents’ linoleum wherever the hotknife had dropped.

[i am doing x365]

49 of 365x35: peter

you unwittingly tested my entrenched ideas about christian revolutionaries, mostly by being so refreshingly respectful (not to mention lax) unlike other god-fearers i’d known. that you were also a cussing, chain-smoking looker didn’t hurt either.

[i am doing x365]

39-48 of 365x35

39. jasmine
of all the things i found bewitching about you, it was your steady, wise energy that compelled me most. oh, those puffy lips. you seemed comfortable in your skin years before any of us might’ve.

40. kelly (one of the guys who fucked me up)
if ever we meet on the street, i’d spit on your face and pivot before you could speak of any hollow regrets for having inflicted a kind of damage on me you can’t ever fathom.

41. menaka didi
at a time when i was only beginning to grapple with my indian-ness, along came you – a munificent ambassador into the most indian of arts, making me feel more welcome than some relatives even do.

42. david h
i’d sneak down to your bedroom and burrow into your pillow to get high on the heady smell of clearasil, drakkar, and ego. years later, you became a Liberal climber, and the crush was crushed.

43. ian mc
it pained me even while i was doing it to gawk longingly at you like the other girls on campus, not because it was pathetic and cliché, but because i sensed you didn’t deserve it.

44. rowan
you were a beautiful misfit whose fears fit mine. the line you crossed with me may have ended our friendship, but the line you ultimately crossed with yourself marked a much truer ending. RIP, love.

45. svend
years after you’d handed alexa the victory and shattered me, i stared you in the eye and said there wasn’t a cliff i wouldn’t have walked off for you. i’m sorry, you said. me too.

46. another one of the guys who helped fuck me up
etched forever up in here is a picture of you with this caption: “creepy nepalese tour guide in front of whose crotch no preteen girl should ever be forcibly wedged in a tight fishing boat.”

47. robert
your physique intrigued me (long and lithe, like gumby), as did your mind, a sort of rubik’s cube. our fleeting connection was strange, when you think about it - full-body massages and mind games and all.

48. anon
we’d wax on about destinations to be explored, of distant adventures. so much talking. problem was, i finally allowed myself to admit, you never wanted to go with me. i think you wished you did.

[i am doing x365]

hairstory

today i cut off the rest of my hair. the highlights are gone, as are, perhaps, any traces of my personality. shari called me her most brave client. i said it's a razor thin line between brave and crazy. she insists i didn't cross it - i'm not so sure. but i'm not sure i give a shit, either. this simple mousey brown helmet will soon be a mess-o-curls once more. the 'do ain't so short that i'll get mistaken for a chemo patient, but not too long that it looks like the unfortunate result of some kind of scissor-wielding self-inflicted rage. whatever. maybe i just wasn't enjoying the confused, misguided bedfro. maybe i just...

someone suggested recently that i'm obsessed with my hair, and i balked on the inside. not because i'm the least superficial person i know, but because the notion is so off-mark. if obsession indeed be at play here, maybe it has to do with wanting to feel something different. feel something. what is this feeling, anyways?