23.12.06

tough love

i am drunk and again, beating off the sad. i am chain-smoking and talking myself through the mire: you have to try to love your life when you don’t. you must do it up like you’re manic when you do, and you must be a little afraid of it. because your life is you, you don’t think of it as a powerful force. we minimize it and get caught in its detail and forget that when pressed, this thing will insist. it will kill just for the chance to survive. it will run fast and lift things twice its weight. it will dazzle, delight, and shock the hell out of you. if you can, look through it and not at it. it is your friend. it is your fuel. it is the only thing. and when you feel utterly disappointed by everything that stomped on your heart or passed you by, your life is the only thing left waiting to sustain you. you can fall into it, spent, beaten, or you can allow it to coax you into another force.

i am wrestling with my life. it is powerful, and so i am fine.

3 Comments:

Blogger Alison said...

Playwright Arthur Miller had one of his characters say, "Take up your life like an idiot child".

I have remembered this line when I needed to.

7:50 a.m.  
Anonymous skdadl said...

A friend once said to me, "The mind *will* relax."

I don't know why, but I have held on to that line ever since, and it comes back to me when I need it.

12:31 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"i must be quiet -
let this moment sing..."
-c

3:06 p.m.  

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